God spoke to me through bread

I know that sounds weird, lol. But He did, and here's how. Ever since Mother's day I have felt like I needed to improve certain area's in my motherly love department. I felt like I sometimes have a short fuse with the kids, I don't let them help me make dinner or snacks or anything. I am always telling them no, because I don't want to deal with the hassles or the mistakes they make. And I never want to take them to the store with me (by myself). Then at church on Mother's day the Pastor was reading from Proverbs 31 and it lists the virtures of a women. And I became really convicted. Most of those virtures does not describe me. I want my kids to remember their mother as "When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness." (Proverbs 31:26). I don't want them to always remember by yelling at them, not letting them help me, not going anywhere with me alone. I want to be the kind of mother God wants me to be and the last few weeks He has been showing me that I haven't been. Sure there are times when I am a good mother to my kids and they always have what they need. I do a lot for them, so I am not saying I am a horrible, no good, mother...I am just saying there are certain areas the Lord wants me to work on for the good of my children (and myself).

So anyway....I took Markie to the grocery store with me the other day and was letting her help me. I'd tell her what we needed and she would grab it from the shelf and put it in the cart for me. She was really enjoying our time together, I could tell. Then when we were checking out, we went to a self-checkout lane. So while I was scanning the food, Markie was at the other end bagging the food (we were a team, lol). Then I had to go up to the middle register to give the clerk a check since I had no cash on me. When I came back, Markie had put all the bags of groceries in the cart and I noticed she had the bread on the bottom of all the groceries. I pulled the bread out and it was flat as a pancake! I said "Oh no Markie! You put all the groceries on top of the bread and now it's flat" and Markie said "Oops! I'm sorry mama!" And I knew she was and as we were walking out to the car, I said to her "Thank you for helping me with the grocery shopping, even though you squished the bread" in a laughing tone and I said "This was fun!" and Markie laughed and agreed. Now normally I probably would of been upset that I just paid for 3 loaves of bread and Markie squished them, but like I said, God had been convicting me of how I react to things my kids do. So I focused on the positive thing that she was a great big help and I let her know it. So the next day I am doing my daily bible reading and I am reading in the book of John and Jesus is talking about how He is the bread and many will not eat of the bread He has to offer, but those who do eat of the bread He has to offer will live. And it seemed to me like He was going on and on and on about the bread. And it kept sticking out to me, but I didn't make the connection why. So after my bible study was done, I go into the kitchen to make me some breakfast (eggs and toast) and I go to see if any of the bread was salvageable and when I opened the cupboard, all the bread had risen back to normal! There was no sign of flatness at all! I couldn't believe it! I felt as though the Lord was telling me "Well done, good and faithful servant! Now here's your bread back!" LOL! So that is how the Lord spoke to me through bread. Doesn't seem so weird now, huh?!

Working out

I am trying to get a workout in. I've been doing it for the last 3 days. So far my legs are sore and my abs are sore. I want to work out tonight, but I think I am going to skip it today, since I am so sore all over. In the morning I plan to go for a jog, so that is part of the reason I don't want to work out tonight. I am afraid that if I do work out tonight, I'll be too sore to jog in the morning. I've been trying to lose weight for the last few weeks now. I started at 155 and got down to 151.2, then AF visited and I shot back up to 155! I've been watching what I've been eating, so now I am adding the workouts to the mix hoping that will help keep the weight down. I am tired of feeling fat. I measured my waist and at the beginning it was 37", then I got it down to 35" and AF caused it to go back up to 36". I really hope that everything goes back to normal when AF is done. But I doubt it. Last month I gained 2 lbs from her that didn't go away. I worked to get it back down and as soon as I did, BAM, she comes back with 3 lbs! It is just a battle I tell ya! The only way I've ever been able to lose weight was by having a kid and breast feeding. Well I can tell you I won't be doing either, lol. When you breastfeed, it takes 500 calories from you a day. It is recommended that you eat and extra 500 calories to make up for that, but I never did, which is how I would lose the weight. So I've adjusted my calorie intake. I make sure I get about 1300 calories a day (most days I go over, but not by much, like 100 calories) and then I've been working out consistently the last 3 days which should burn about 100 calories, so that takes care of the extra 100 I sneak it. So please pray for me to stick to my dieting plan, so I can be a healthy weight again. I would love to be around 130-135!

Forgiveness

I've been having a reoccuring dream for about the last month. Last night was about the 4th time I've had this dream. I thought it was God telling me that I still have unforgiveness in my heart that I need to learn to forgive. But then I thought, I've been trying to forgive, prayed about it, and have been avoiding speaking about the incident that is "causing" me to have these dreams. I think my progress on the forgiveness has been going pretty smoothly. So I am thinking that this might be an attack from Satan to keep the incident "fresh" in my mind so that I will continue to dwell on the situation, hendering the forgiving process. So I prayed today that I command Satan to stop in the name of Jesus Christ. So with that said, these dreams should stop. So I am going to do a word study on "Forgiveness", continue to pray, and I will post my results in the next few days.

Truth isn't discovered, Truth is revealed

That is what I learned from God today. I never really looked at it that way before. I knew that what I knew about God was because I have the Holy Spirit within me, but I guess I never really gave it much thought before. But today's bible study really revealed a lot to me today. I know that in order to understand the bible you have to have the Holy Spirit within you to do so. I use to read the bible without the help of the Holy Spirit before I was saved and I just didn't get it. I felt it was impossible to get it. Now I get it. It was revealed to me. It wasn't something I discovered, because it's always been there, it was something that was revealed to me. I think that is why a lot of people claim they have read the bible several times and find it to be full of hate and contradictory or they found it confusing because they tried to read it without the divine help of the Holy Spirit. John 14:26 says-- But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you. (boldness mine)

And how do you recieve the Holy Spirit? Acts 2:38 says Peter replied, “Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. And Acts 5:32 says We are witnesses of these things and so is the Holy Spirit, who is given by God to those who obey him.” So in order to receive the Holy Spirit you MUST repent of your sins (repent as in realize they are wrong, turn away from and do no more), turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and obey Him. That is how I received the Holy Spirit. And my life has been forever changed since then.

I hope this has been able to teach you something, I know I learned from it. I pray that everyone I know and love receives the Holy Spirit.

Dear Lord, I thank You today for Your word and the truth that has been revealed to me today through Your word and Your Holy Spirit. I can learn nothing without You! You are continually amazing and I grow in awe of You more and more everyday! Thank You Lord for Your wisdom!

Thinking of God

I haven't really posted much in the last few months about God. And I wanted to get more on here about Him. I am doing a bible study right now called "Experiencing God" and it is wonderful. I am learning so much from it! One thing I don't like about bible studies is sometimes they ask for scenerio's on where God has done something for you or where have you not listened to God and it not work out of you and stuff like that and my mind is always blank. I know I've had those situations and I just blank out when I have to think about them. So I am going to start to keep track. So here's my thinking of God today:

What I've learned about God today:

I've learned that I need to be patient to hear whatever it is God wants me to do. I learned that sometimes I don't like waiting for God's answer, so I come up with my own solution and convince myself that it's what God would want. I need to pray about things and take my time and wait for God's decision. He will always know the right answer. And it shows my dependence on Him.

What God has done for me today:

When I got home from work today I was trying to make dinner and the kids kept coming up to me for stuff to eat. I was getting very impatient with them because I was cooking dinner and told them they needed to wait. Well, we all know how that goes. They kept bugging me and I could feel myself become more and more upset with them. It was getting to the point where I was giving in to them and having a major attitude problem with them like they would just get out of my way and leave me alone. And then I thought to myself and know that God was speaking to me and I started to realize, you know what? I get a small amount of time with my kids everyday because of work and I get home and just want them to go away. How godly is that type of attitude. I need to have some patience, start planning snacks for the kids to munch on when we get home so I can cook dinner and be a kind and loving mother to them since I don't get to see them all day. I don't want my children to grow up remembering that Mom was always in a bad mood when she got home from work. I want to be a godly example for my children. I want my kids to see that I do enjoy them being around. God helped me to stay calm today in a lot of instances where I didn't want to be. He supressed my bad mood and kept reminding me that my kids will appreciate me more if I appreciate them more. I pray that God continues to work with me in this area. And help me to stay focus on the important nurturing part of taking care of my kids instead of shooing them off.

Thank you Lord for helping me be the parent I am suppose to be. I may not be a perfect one but I am definitely a better one when I trust in You to remind me how a godly parent is suppose to be to their children.

Remodeling

We finally remodeled our living room! I am so happy about it! I've waited almost 8 years to have a nice looking living room. We had to finally give in and remodel it when the Foster care agency came over to inspect the house and seen the unfinished living room. We had 2 walls that were drywalled, but not finished and 2 walls that were still the original walls. So we ripped out the 2 original walls. Markie and Ricky helped and they were actually a great help! They had a blast busting up all that drywall! And they helped pick up all the pieces of drywall while Mark and I were yanking it off the wall. So they pretty much did the work that Mark and I didn't want to do, lol. Ben and Charlotte were at my neighbor Debbie's house while we did all that. So after a month of sanding, mudding, painting, cleaning, glueing, sweating, it is finally done! I was going to go crazy if it didn't get done soon! Having 6 people cramped into the dining room as a make-shift living room was not fun at all! The kids would have it a mess in no time, everything was crammed in there, it was hard to clean, hard to put things away, it was just flat out miserable! So, now that it is done I can stop my complaining, lol. I am so happy with how my living room turned out. It's beautiful and relaxing and warm and welcoming! It's everything I ever wanted! The green was a lot greener than I had anticipated, but after getting the the wood ceiling up against it, it looks perfect. I don't have to be embarassed to have company over anymore! YAY! Here are pics of the results!! Sorry that these are not the best shots. My camera flash is broken, so the pictures turned out horrible, but it's the best I can do. Thanks for looking!

Update on Us

It's been a while since I've done an update, so here it is! We are all doing good. Mark and I are doing a bible study at church called "Experiencing God" and it is really good. We are hoping that this study helps us get closer to God and helps us to meet some people at our church since we are still pretty new to this church. I've also been pretty consistant with doing a bible study with the kids. They love it! And it's helping me learn a lot myself. Like for instance, I never knew that in Genesis when God was giving the serpent his punishment for deceiving Eve, God gave the first prophecy of Christ. That was so cool to realize that! We've painted a chalk board on our dining room wall, so the kids can sit at the dining room table while I do the bible study with them. I write their weekly memory verse on there, and they recite it everyday and usually by Thursday they are suppose to memorize it. Markie is pretty good at memorizing it, but Ricky has difficulties memorizing it. I think it has something to do with his learning disability, but I also think part of it is laziness on his part. He can watch TV and repeat commericals and cartoon scripts, but can't remember a 1 or 2 sentence memory verse? So we've limited TV, so that he can concentrate on the more important things. He gets too absorbed by that TV.

The kids are all doing good. Ben is pretty much potty trained, but he seems to go through spurts where he'll pee and poo his pants all day, then not for days. Hopefully he'll overcome that SOON! Markie just finished the Reading Recovery program at school. They feel she has learned to read sufficiently enough on her own to not need that program anymore. She has improved a lot in her reading, I hardly have to help her anymore (except for the big words, of course). Ricky is learning a lot in school. He still has some set backs, but is doing great considering his learning disability. He can add double digit numbers, which he couldn't even add when we got him, so that is a major accomplishment for him. He just has a problem staying focused. He'll do great when he begins his math homework, but after the first 10 problems you can tell his focus declines. We are going to send him to a counselor to see what we can do to help him in that area. Charlotte is tooting along like a big girl. She is learning so much from the older kids, it's making her grow up way to fast for mama! The kids love playing hide and seek and I seen Charlotte standing with her face against the wall, trying to count like the big kids, it was so cute! I have a work out video that Markie likes to play once in a while and do the workout moves and Charlotte sometimes does them too. It's so funny to watch. Ricky has taught her how to say "Thank You", but she doesn't actually say it, she just kind of hums it. She's not going to be a baby for much longer!

I get to go back to work on Monday after a 2-1/2 month layoff. I am happy about it, but at the same time, I enjoyed being at home. But according to Mark, people at work are really missing me answering the phones so they don't have to, lol. And the toner needed replaced in the copier and they told him I was the only one who knew how to change it, lol. Which is true, that thing is a pain in the butt to change (and messy) so everyone avoids learning how to do it. So now that I am going back to work, Mark is laid-off. Go figure! I think it will only be for a week though (I hope). It will be nice to have him home though when I get home from work. Usually it's just me and the kids. So it will be nice to have some help in the evenings (for a week at least).

We are currently remodeling our living room, since the foster care agency says we have to. It's been unfinished for about 7 years now, so I am glad to finally get it going again. The only real problem the foster care agency had with it was the 2 wall that were alreay re-drywalled had a 4" gap by the floor where we were going to put trim up. The lady said she didn't want anyone getting their toes caught in it. OOOOKKKKKAAAYYYY, that isn't really possible, but whatever. The state will pay for $500 of it, so that will help a lot. I am so glad to finally get to decorate my living room. In the 7 years we've lived here, I haven't been able to do much with the living room since it needed to be remodeled, so it's just been kind of blah. Now I get to pick out colors for it, carpet, and I'm starting to buy wall decor here and there so when it's finished I can start hanging stuff up. I can't wait!

Anyway, that's what's been going on with us! Thanks for reading!!

Why we are doing what we are doing

I decided that since I had a little (small) heated conversation with my brother this morning about us changing Ricky's last name and him calling us mom and dad, I decided that I'd post on my blog why we are doing what we are doing.

So, first off, the name change thingy. This is still up in the air. We are going to let Ricky decide what he wants to do, since it is his name. Right now he said he likes Ricky Barton Johnson. But we'll ask him again when the adoption is offical just to be sure. I was thinking of changing his first name to Richard (still call him Ricky), so that when he is older and if he ever gets a professional type job, he can have a professional sounding name. That idea is still up in the air.

Now, onto calling us Mom and Dad. I know a few family members might not think it is right of us to have him call us Mom and Dad, and that's fine, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but the beautiful thing about life is that it's our own choice for our own family and pretty soon Ricky will be legally our family, our child. We feel it's important that while Ricky will never forget his real parents, he knows that he has us now. Because in reality his real mom and dad are never coming back. They won't get to be there for him, raise him, teach him values and moral, support him. They can't do that anymore. We have to now. We are the only parental figures he has now. He may be my cousin, but now I am raising him and he is becoming my child. I never knew him before all this, there was no relationship between us before all of this, so it's not weird. It's just the same if I took in a child off the streets and brought him into my home. Everyone would be 100% supportive if I treated this child like my own, had him call me mom and Mark dad, and have him take on our last name. But since he is my cousin I know that some people aren't getting the importance of Ricky feeling like a full fledge member of our family. Not just some kid we are taking care of. We are now all he has in this world as parents. It's important to us that we show him we love him like we love our own kids.

I hope this has brought some light to those who don't really agree with how we are handling this. There's no handbook on what's the right thing to do, right thing to say. I know that other's that have Ricky's brothers don't feel the same way as we do and that is fine. Everyone has the right to handle things the way they feel is right. But as for us, we feel we are doing what is the right thing for Ricky and that's all that really matters.

Thanks for reading!

Another great savings week!

I had another $82 (71%) savings trip to Kroger this week! My bathroom is stocked because Kroger is having awesome P&G sales and I have tons of P&G coupons! Here's what I got:

Kellogs frosted flakes cereal - $2.99 - $1/off - doubled -$0.99 total
Kellogs Special K cereal - $2.67 - $1/off - doubled - $0.67 total
Fuze Drinks $1 - $.25/off - doubled - $0.50 total
Cottonelle TP - $0.99 - $0.50/off - doubled - Free
Jello Pudding $2 - $0.55/off - doubled - $0.90 and got a $1.50 off my next shoping order!
Bounty Basics paper towel $1.03 - $1/off - $0.03 total
Herbal Essence Shampoo & Conditioner -$2.99 - $1/off doubled - $0.99 total
Oral B Toothbrushes $2.50 - $1/off - $0.50 total
Oil of Olay bar soap (2pk) - $2.99 - $1/off-doubled-and $1/off esaver = Free
Cologate Toothpaste - $2 - $1/off - doubled - Free
Campbells Chunk Soup - $1.25 - $0.50/off - $0.75 total
Campbells Select Harvest - $1.25 - $0.50/off - $0.75 total

So my total came out to $116.12 but I actually ended up paying $33.92! I wish my camera was working so I can give you guys a visual of how much I am actually getting for so little money. I will see if I can find enough time to post how I save so much by clippling coupons and watching the sales. It's really easier than you think!

Grocery Savings

I have been saving BIG time these last few weeks at Krogers. I strongly recommend couponing. Mark has always wanted me to stock up on everything, but his idea was to go to Sam's Club and stock up. I didn't like that idea because you buy a few things at Sams and your already up to $100. $100 is all I get all week long for food and diapers and household items. So if I was going to stock up, I needed to pay next to nothing for the things I was getting. So with couponing and watching the sales I have made that possible. Here's the deals I've been getting: I highlighted free stuff in Red.

At this trip I save a total of $87.09

Tide Laundry Detergent: $10.99 - $1 off (doubled to $2) and $0.50 esaver coupon loaded onto my Kroger card = $8.49 I bought this because I get $5 off if I spend $25 in P&G items, and I needed to spend $6 more. So I actually only paid $3.49 for this since I got $5 off!!
Pringles Single packs $2.99 - $1 off (doubled to $2) = $0.99
Cottonelle Toilet Paper 4pk - $0.99 - $0.50 off (doubled to $1) = Free
Ronz Elbow Macaroni - $1.94 - $1 off (doubled to $2) = Free
Minute Rice 1 cup packages (4 cups per pack) $2.29 - $1 off (doubled) = $0.29
Oil of Olay 2pk bar soap $2.99 - $1 off (doubled) = $0.99
Gillett Hydragel Shaving cream for men $3.85 - $1 off (doubled) = $1.85
Old spice body wash $2.50 - $1 off (doubled) = $0.50
2 Old spice Deordorant - $2.50 - $1 off 2 (doubled) $1 off 2 esaver = $1 each
Herbal Essance Shampoo and Conditioner $3 - $1 off (doubled) = $1 each
Pantene Shampoo and Conditioner - $3.49 - $1.50 off = $1.50
Pantene Styler - $3.49 - $1 off (doubled) and free with esaver = actually made $2 off of this!
Crest toothpaste - $2.56 each - $1 off (doubled) $1 off esaver = Free

The total for everything actually came out to $123.50, but I only paid $36.41!!! The coupons alone saved me $54.92!

In this trip I saved $83.17

Here's the deals I got:

Rice Krispies Cereal $ 2.49 - $1off (doubled) = $0.49
Cocoa Rice Krispies Cereal $2.49 - $1off (doubled) = $0.49
Pillsbury Frozen Biscuits $1.99 - $0.40 (doubled) = $1.19
Ronz Spaghetti $1.94 - $1off (doubled) = Free
Ronz Elbow Macaroni $1.94 - $1off (doubled) = Free
Kraft Bagelfuls $2 - $1off (doubled) = Free
Kraft Bagelfuls $2 - $0.55off (doubled) = $0.90
Cottonelle Toilet Paper 4pk - $0.99 - $0.50 off (doubled) = Free
Huggies baby body wash and shampoo $1.62 each - $1off (doubled) = Free
Minute Rice 1 cup packages (4 cups per pack) $2.29 - $1off (doubled) = $0.29
Herbal Essance Shampoo and Conditioner - $2.99 - $1off (doubled) $2 off 2 esaver = Free
Fusion Manual Razor $5.99 - $4 off = $1.99
Duracell batteries 4pk - $3.50 - $1 off (doubled) = $1.50